It took several years and an invasive medical procedure before my oldest daughter was conceived. When it finally happened, I was so consumed with excitement, I spoke about almost nothing else. A few days after I got the news, I attended a scheduled Board of Directors meeting for a non-profit organization in East Los Angeles. I took my regular seat that evening next to my favorite board member, Carlos J Garcia.
Carlos had a comforting and genuine greeting for each person he met brought out by a keen ability to see the good in everyone. It was easy to see the goodness in him. He was a bundle of things you would not expect, a lawyer, seriously overweight, yet soft-spoken with an easy and gentle smile. He was also a Bishop in the Mormon Church, which at the time I mistakenly viewed as a unique role for a Latino. Much later in life, I came to realize that there are many So, Cal. Hispanics who are members of the Mormon Church.
Carlos had his share of life’s trials, but his faith gave him a glow that I only witnessed once in one other person, Caesar Chavez. I met Caesar Chavez in that same board room a few months before I got the news that my wife was pregnant. Sadly, he passed away a month before my daughter was born.
I sat next to Carlos and went on about my news. He patiently grinned and nodded and acknowledged that he was happy for me. When I finally slowed down, he gave me the message he really wanted to deliver.
“Carl, “he started, “One day you are going to meet your maker. When you do, he’s not going to have a checklist or report card noting that you lied three times or swore too often. He is, however, going to ask you a question. He will say ‘Carl, I sent you a spirit. What did you do to make sure they turned out to be a good person?’ If you can answer that, you won’t have to worry about anything else.”
I’m not sure there is a concept I took to heart or embraced more passionately than the one Carlos articulated that day. Far from perfect, I made a full share of parenting mistakes. In my heart, though, I really thought about and tried to raise good spirits. I may one day learn that my kids have gotten there in spite of me.
Carlos has gone on to meet his maker, but I hope he was right. I have lied and I do swear too much. I do not know what the afterlife holds, but it is pleasant to think about reuniting in the future with caring souls like Carlos Garcia and Caesar Chavez.
