None of us has a crystal ball. Our inability to definitively know how our actions will impact the future brings anxiety, hesitation, and doubt. Ultimately, the ability to leap comes from some element of trust. Trust your experience, trust your logic, trust your instincts, trust God. Wouldn’t it be nice to know?
I am here to contend that knowing doesn’t make it any easier. I will cite two incidents from the Bible in defense of that premise.
Case #1- Moses
Pardon the upcoming pun, but few can argue that Moses was a leader of Biblical proportions. He conquered dominions for Pharaoh. He led the Jewish people out of Egyptian bondage, introduced them to the ten commandments, and brought them to their first view of the promised land. Now there is a resume of which to be proud!
Of course, Moses had some help, but no leader does it alone. The divine intervention Moses received was well documented, but none of us knows for sure just how much divine intervention has played a part in our lives.
Moses did have one thing most of us didn’t. Moses got to stand without sandals on holy ground to hear, see and receive direction from his creator.
One would think an experience like that would remove any doubts a person might have. But Moses still had his concerns and was even prone to pouting like a bit of an ingrate.
As to inappropriate attitude, reacting to complaints that the people had only manna to eat instead of meat, Moses was displeased. Moses said to the LORD, “Why hast thou dealt ill with thy servant? And why have I not found favor in thy sight, that thou dost lay the burden of all these people upon me? Did I conceive all these people? Did I bring them forth, that thou shouldst say to me, `Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries the sucking child, to the land which thou didst swear to give their fathers?’ Where am I to get meat to give to all these people? For they weep before me and say, `Give us meat, that we may eat.’ I am not able to carry all these people alone, the burden is too heavy for me. If thou wilt deal thus with me, kill me at once if I find favor in thy sight, that I may not see my wretchedness.” (Numbers 11:11-15)
My children may well have faced some time alone to contemplate their behavior after a tantrum like that!
In Numbers 20:8, the Lord told Moses, “Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink.” Numbers 20:9-11 records Moses’ response: “So Moses took the staff from the LORD’s presence, just as He commanded him. He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, ‘Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?’ Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.” The Lord was displeased with Moses’ actions: “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them” (Numbers 20:12).
In spite of his doubt, the Bible tells us things worked out well for Moses in the end. The last time we see him, he is transfigured, in conversation with Eli’jia and Jesus while Saint Peter is offering to build him a tent! Let’s hold that thought for a bit as we are at the perfect jump off point to examine…
Case 2- Saint Peter
You can receive no better endorsement as qualified than to have Jesus himself select you to lead his church. Few in the Bible demonstrated Peter’s bravery. Be honest, how many of us would leave a boat in a storm to walk on water toward Jesus when he said “Come”. Over 2,000 years later, St. Peter’s place of reverence among Catholics remains secure.
Yet Peter had his moments of insecurity and doubt despite walking with Christ, witnessing the many miracles and being only one of three people selected to witness Jesus’ transfiguration. The walk on water took a bad turn when Peter’s doubt surfaced after several steps and he began to sink. Then even after being specifically warned of his impending shortcoming during the Last Supper, Peter denied even knowing Jesus three times at the high priest’s courtyard. He immediately knew his fearfulness had overcome him and began to weep bitterly. (see Luke 22:59-62).
My point is not to make light of leadership and decision making. The responsibility of this role and function requires us to give our absolute best to the task. I have no doubt that both Moses and Peter took their station seriously and made a sincere human attempt to bring the best to their charge.
What I think it is fair to say is that the most enlightened of us struggles with doubt in leadership roles. Even a strong indication of what the future holds cannot remove a tinge of “what if” from our consciousness.
The good news is experience and logic and instinct and trust in God do go a long way to making things work out in the end, like they did for both Moses and Peter.
A little prayer for divine intervention cannot hurt either.
